The Time of our Lives: Part One

Generation Opportunity

By Andrew Chung
October 21, 2005

When I finally graduated from university, marking the end of my academic career, I had this overwhelming feeling that I was freer than I've ever been in my entire life. I had an endless wealth of possibilities laid out before me, so much so that I wasn't quite sure where to begin. There was so much I was looking forward to, from sleeping in late to spending more time doing what I love (art for those who haven't quite figured that one out yet) to hanging out with friends and family more often to starting a business. It seemed like I had the power of a sun in my hand, and the only thing that could let that slip away was me. Fast-forward to more than a year later, and alas it somehow feels as if it is starting to slip away. It's the worst feeling in the world. Like you're losing control over the life you convinced yourself you were going to lead. When your mind has played out the ideal scenario of this period in your life so many times you really begin to believe that there is no other way it can happen. I should be having the time of my life. I mean it is the definitive time of my life. But somehow in someway I think I screwed it up. I know - this may not make sense to any of you. Then again it may. However, after a brief investigation, I realized this strange feeling might not be so strange after all.

'The time is now,' a twentysomething had said in the book, Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties by Alexandra Robbins & Abby Wilner. These are words that not only ring true for the twentysomething that described the mentality of those in his generation, but words that have relevance to anyone at any stage in their life. We've been told by our friends, our family, career counselors, books, movies, TV shows, and the entirety of western society that the time is indeed now. If there is any time that significantly affects the outcome of our lives it is in your twenties. Really. So if that were true then what are we doing for the next fifty to sixty years of our lives? Apparently not much. Consequently, the pressure that we put on ourselves and others for that matter can be so unbearable at times that it leads to a severe depression for some. We live in a society that is an unrelenting merry go round that infinitely gets faster and faster. The ride so dizzying for many that they fall off their horses and find it extremely arduous to get back on.

Coined by Robbins and Wilner, this experience is described as a quarterlife crisis. It sounds a little absurd at first, because how on earth can a twentysomething have a crisis at such a young age? Twentysomethings have so much to live for and nothing to regret. But in fact it is that very perception that leads to a crisis in the first place. The opportunities a twentysomething has after being freed from the confines of the educational system, are to put it lightly, unlimited. Robbins says in her follow-up book, Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis: Advice from Twentysomethings Who Have Been There and Survived, that the tremendous amount of options a twentysomething has is like ordering from a twenty-page menu as opposed to a five-page one. The typical reaction to these circumstances is something termed as 'narcotization,' which is when a problem seems so overwhelming that one feels they are doomed to fail, thus no corrective action is taken to prevent a catastrophe. Hence we have fashioned a self-fulfilling prophecy, or simply we have become the architect of our own demise. One of the ways to avoid such behaviour is to narrow down the options ourselves, Robbins says, so that it is more manageable to contend with. However, understanding the theory is much easier than its application. Narrowing down the options is a dilemma in itself, as many haven't a clue of what their passions or likes and dislikes are. Strangely enough, it seems we twentysomethings are all victims of opportunity rather than its beneficiaries. We are not Generation Y or the Baby Boomlet, and we are definitely not Generation X. We are 'Generation Opportunity.' A generation who is failing to take advantage of that fact, and thus appear to have taken for granted this gift that our parents have adorned us with. Thus, we not only suffer the detriment of endless options, but we also suffer from a fear of disappointing our mothers and fathers who worked so hard to provide us with these opportunities. Pressure is clearly an understatement.

But if all of this were true, than why does it seem as if my peers are coping just fine with this time in their lives. Is it simply a clever or well-acted pretense or was my experience in isolation? Is the quarterlife crisis a genuine phenomenon or can these individuals with a 'crisis' really be found in every generation if one were inclined to actively search for them?

I interviewed a number of my peers for these answers, a few of which I profile here. Robbins' books did not tell the stories of those who were doing well, thus comparatively the prevalence of a quarterlife crisis remained ambiguous. The difference with this little study of mine is that I did not specifically seek out those with a 'crisis.' However by no means do I claim this analysis to be at all entirely scientific, as it is predominantly meant to gain a better understanding of the wider ranges of experiences that exist for twentysomethings. Accordingly, some may be managing wonderfully, while others may not. I present you with selected information regarding each graduate. How many were truly dealing with issues that could be deemed as a quarterlife crisis? That my friends, is for you to figure out. Stay tuned for a more in depth look at 'the usual graduates'.