The Time of our Lives: Part Two

The Usual Graduates

By Andrew Chung
November 15, 2005

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." - Verbal aka Keyser Soze, The Usual Suspects

You've graduated, you're ready to move forward and make your life the way you envision it to be. No one is holding your hand anymore. You're in control and your destiny is only yours to make. Days turn into months and months turn into years, and you look back since you've graduated and realize life isn't much different. What happened? Is this normal? To live life through a foggy looking glass, waiting for your vision of life to somehow finally materialize? Then someone tells you about the quarterlife crisis, and that it's something that we all go through. Is that what this is? But then why is everyone around you living life as if they had expected nothing more or nothing less? Like life is nothing more than what we were told it should be like. It's not something we actually rule, but something that rules us. We're born, we have fun as children and teenagers, party throughout university, get a job, start a family, retire, go on some vacations, and die. Anything else that deviates from that formula is too esoteric to be something that could actually make us happy. Happiness only lies in the known and unhappiness in everything we don't know.

The quarterlife crisis doesn't exist. It can't, it's not part of the formula that our forefathers have mapped for us. At this point in your life you should be happy. It shouldn't be a question. You are happy. Keep telling yourself that until one day when your forty years old, in your fifth and final job, you sit in front of that computer, entering in your meaningless data that helps the corporate gods identify the company is making significant headway since the last fiscal period, and suddenly you come to the realization that this is your life. No one would notice you even existed if it weren't for the permanent shit stain you left on the toilet porcelain in your apartment. This is the mark you've left for the world - literally.

Can such a demise seriously transpire? If we've convinced ourselves that a quarterlife crisis doesn't exist, than we may have just committed the greatest self-inflicted atrocity in our entire lives. For if we didn't recognize it's existence, how can we fight it? In The Usual Suspects, many convinced themselves that Keyser Soze didn't exist, but he killed lots and lots of people I'll tell you that. No, the quarterlife crisis does not hurt everyone, and neither did Soze. But we must come to terms with our lives before it sneaks up on us. Are you just having a bad month? Or better yet, have you just been in a funk for the past year and have convinced yourself that things will work out on their own without your intervention. Fenster was killed before anybody even had a clue who Soze really was.

So then, who are the Usual Graduates? Hopefully, not Fenster.

For many, life after graduation is far from what we expect. McManus says, "Right after graduation, I felt like my life was set and that a high paying job in the computer science field would actually come looking for me. Today, I feel that I have a long way to go, and possibly another twenty years of experience before I reach my objective." Fenster adds, "I was really happy to finally be out of science and to have the opportunity to do my own thing. But I realize now that school was a luxury and I guess I should have taken more time to enjoy it when I had the chance. Trying to do your own thing and making money at the same time is not easy."

For others the unexpected is a great thing. Verbal says, "My career has changed a lot from what I expected. I didn't expect to be a manager after only six months of working, but it happened, and it's great. I expected to have it rough for a while in China, not business related, and for less money, but the opportunities in China it turns out are really abundant for capable people."

Graduation is a wake up call for some and a time to enjoy yourself for others. Hockney, who continued school to pursue a second degree in education, says, "My second degree has a large practical component which allows me to really see what my future career as a teacher will be like." While Keaton says, "I've spent the last year enjoying myself. I've considered it a bit of a 'breather' after being in school for eighteen years and 'earning' this time off."

One common thread amongst all of these graduates was that if they had one regret looking back on school, it would be the time and effort made in developing relationships and socializing with colleagues. It seems the thing one worries least about after school is over, becomes the most significant thing missing afterwards.

With respect to the happiness of each of these twentysomethings after graduation, most were ambivalent on the topic. While some expressed they were in a good place and were without a doubt very happy, the majority expressed a sense of uncertainty in the place they were in. This, of course, should not be a shock to anyone, as they are all at an age where uncertainty is an inevitability. However, the substantial aspect to consider is that none of these graduates had revealed any sort of unhappiness or a feeling that they were in a worse place than they were previously. Many almost danced around their words when explaining their level of happiness. As a result most would not concretely deem themselves as in a quarterlife crisis. But it was clear that two, Hockney and Verbal, had no qualms in expressing their undeniable happiness. Thus, there are those that are definitely in a better place than they thought they would be. However, the jury's still out on the rest.

In the end, I can only conclude that to admit to a quarter-life crisis is to admit defeat. And no one wants to admit defeat. But it is something that one must come to terms with if they are to move forward. A quarter-life crisis does not have to mean a state of depression or absolute unhappiness. It is exactly what it says it is. A crisis. A time of uncertainty and difficulty, which may be painful. To say that no crisis occurs after graduation is to say that life has worked out smoothly or exactly as planned. And everyone knows that life is not smooth. Otherwise, it would be a fictional story with a predestined beginning, middle, and end.

I remember having a conversation with a colleague while in university. We were discussing the average salary of a graduate coming out of our program. It was $40,000 a year. My response was, 'That's it?' Our program was sold to us as one of the best in the country and thus the work required of us was accordant to that. So in my opinion it didn't seem worth it. However, my colleague expressed the complete opposite. He felt it was great and couldn't have expected anything more. I asked him if he would actually be happy with a $40,000 salary, and he replied, 'Well why do you have to be happy or unhappy about it - can't you just be satisfied?'

Sat·is·fied adj
1. contented or pleased with what has happened
2. fully convinced that something is right, proper, or true

Sure, you can be satisfied. Satisfaction actually sounds great. But if one were only satisfied, there would be no incentive to change the situation, and life would remain stagnant. And someone with a stagnant life is not living.

If we were only satisfied, we probably would be doing our forefathers a disservice. Because we wouldn't be living up to our potential and taking advantage of the opportunities they have given us.

Perhaps a quarterlife crisis is exactly what a graduate needs.