@ NXNE: Low, You May Need a Murderer

By Melanie Chung

Feature Documentary

Directed by Dutch filmmaker David Kleijwegt, Low: You May Need a Murderer explores the psyche of singer/songwriter Alan Sparhawk of the Duluth, Minnesota band Low. Alan, a devout Mormon who struggles with past addictions and mental instability, seems to find solace and safety in his music, as it is “loving, selfless and compassionate.”

The film opens with Alan, in a crisp white button down shirt and a thin, dark crimson tie, the uniform of a Mormon. “Do you think the end is near?” he’s asked by someone off camera. Without hesitation and point blankly, Alan says “Yes.”

Subsequently Kleijwegt sets the stage with a family oriented Alan, who sings and plays the guitar lovingly with his two small children, Hollis and Cyrus and his wife and bandmate Mimi Parker. There, the four of them on the couch in his modest and cozy starter home, Alan seems to have the American Dream.

Concert footage is intermittently cut alongside Kleijwegt’s portrait of what we first assume is a God fearing man with a certain “normalacy” we associate with those with everyday ambitions and goals – the family, the house, the career. But what we see behind those eyes when he sings “when we realized we were dragonflies/we knew we had to try to find a way to get more pills,” there’s a pain there as clear as day, a struggle with an internal demon that few of us allow others to see. Even more stripped down than their studio work, Low’s live performances are down to its bare essentials and Alan’s hypnotizing vulnerability surfaces.

Rarely seen head on, Alan battles with opening up about his inner conflicts, leaving the viewer always at arm’s length. Never looking directly at the camera or even at his offscreen companion, Alan too, is vague when he touches upon the dark periods of his life, or what he calls what we would call “delusions.” His wife Mimi tries to fill in some of the blanks but loyal to her husband, she manages to give us just enough details to form an idea of what Alan experienced or experiences.

Mimi does her best to explain Alan for us “normal” people, but when it comes right down to it, Alan really is one of those types we would term as a creative genius. His line of thinking spans all sorts of tangents and he does what many of us fail to do – ask questions. Especially when it comes to faith, a trait that is unique to those with a devout devotion to their God. Religion is often an unshakeable medium, that faith and God will always provide the light. But Alan asks questions, to the point of offense.

“One more thing before I go/one more thing I’ll ask you Lord/you may need a murderer/someone to do your dirty work,” soulfully Alan croons. “Don’t act so innocent/I’ve seen you pound your fist into the earth/I’ve read your books/seems you could use another fool/well I’m cruel,” Alan sings the last line almost sarcastically.

Kleijwegt gives us a portrait of a man filled with doubt, questions, and still an unwavering faith to his religion. But Alan describes his sentiment best when he when he says “church isn’t for the perfect. Church is for those who are struggling.” Low: You May Need a Murderer is haunting at its best and devastatingly beautiful. Kleijwegt goes beyond the clichés of portrait documentaries, Kleijwegt gives us a man that is unafraid of his own darkness, a man who is willing to ask those tough questions unabashedly.

Though Low is not for the lighthearted, it is a film that brings to the surface our inner most thoughts –poignant to say the least, and set to the soundtrack of the band’s ethereal and lingering sound. Low is a film for the devoted and the secular, it will get under your skin and leave you with more questions than you have answers about your own faith, regardless of what it is.